Burn Your Crocs

Growing up, even my own mother told me that once you have kids, your life is over. Your dreams stop. Your identity fades. Your wants don’t matter. Your life becomes “all about them.”

But that was never my story. And it doesn’t have to be yours.

Because let’s be real:
Who said your dreams stop?
Seriously, who decided that??
Because that wasn’t wisdom… that was a scheme set up by Todd to keep mothers small, quiet, overwhelmed, and scared to want more.

“Todd” can be society, tradition, old-school parenting, outdated beliefs: it’s all the same. It was never about protecting children. It was about controlling women.

The whole “your life ends when you have kids” narrative didn’t come from mothers. It came from people who wanted women to do everything, be everything, sacrifice everything, and expect nothing back.

But your identity doesn’t evaporate.
Your purpose doesn’t get canceled.
Your dreams don’t die.

That lie was never meant for women like you.

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Putting your kids first doesn’t mean putting yourself last.

A lot of people confuse motherhood with self-erasure. They think being a “good mom” means disappearing. Losing yourself. Shrinking. Letting go of everything that made you YOU.

But your kids don’t need a hollow mother.
They need a whole one.A mother with joy.
A mother with goals.
A mother with confidence.
A mother who shows them what a full life looks like.

Children don’t learn self-esteem and self-worth because you tell them “you’re amazing.”
They learn it because they see you treat yourself like you’re amazing.

They watch how you:

• speak about yourself
• handle disrespect
• set boundaries
• rest when you’re tired
• choose peace
• walk away from chaos
• pursue your goals
• take care of your body
• enjoy your life
• carry yourself
• talk about your dreams
• refuse to shrink

Kids don’t gain self-worth from a mother who values herself.

A mother who honors her needs.
A mother who doesn’t abandon herself just to prove she loves them.

Self-esteem is caught, not taught.
They don’t listen to your words because they mirror your life.

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My life didn’t end. It expanded.

Motherhood didn’t make me smaller. It made me intentional. It made me sharper.It made me disciplined. It made me grow up in all the right ways. The life my mother warned me about? The fear she projected?

It never became my reality.

Because I refused that version of motherhood.
I chose the version where:

• my dreams matter
• my peace matters
• my identity matters
• my glow matters
• my voice matters
• my growth matters

Motherhood didn’t close doors for me.
It opened new ones.

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You don’t have to choose between your children and yourself.

That’s the OLD narrative, the one “Todd” created to keep women quiet and grateful for crumbs.

The truth is simple:

You can be a mother and a woman at the same time.

You can raise your children
AND chase your goals
AND heal
AND elevate
AND rest
AND explore
AND grow
AND reinvent yourself
AND still show up as an amazing mother

There is room for both. There was room for me.
And there is room for you too.

So no, my life didn’t end because I became a mom. I became MORE.

More confident.
More patient.
More grounded.
More intentional.
More disciplined.
More loving.
More alive.

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My mother’s story wasn’t my destiny.
And your mother’s story doesn’t have to be yours.

Motherhood doesn’t end you.
It evolves you.